Sex, What's the Big Deal?

Nov 3

Our society tends to make quite the stink when it comes to sex. Sex is a basic human experience, yet we treat it as something other than what it is. We put it up on a pedestal. We judge it. We repress it. We exploit it. We label it as sinful or taboo. But we rarely accept it exactly as it is, as a normal, everyday thing. It begs the question, why is sex still such a taboo subject when industries like fashion and entertainment exploit it on a daily basis? Why are we, as a society, accepting of oversexed images everywhere we look, but we can’t be supportive of talking about sexuality in an open, honest, and real way? Anthropologist, Ava Mir-Ausziehen, says, "Sex isn't some strange, ethereal construct. It's as normal and necessary as eating and sleeping...when we regard sex as something apart from the mundane, we're causing anxiety, fear, and dysfunction." Could this be the answer to why our society struggles to have a healthy, positive relationship with sexuality?

The sex positive movement promotes a positive, accepting take on sexuality and puts very few limitations on what is not acceptable. The two main requirements are that there is an emphasis on safe sexual practices, and that any sexual act requires informed consent between the parties involved. Beyond that, those who call themselves sex positive make no judgment or discrimination about a person’s sexual practices, viewing those choices as personal preferences. The sex positive movement wants to expand how our society views “normal” sexuality and how it reacts to those that fall outside of that “norm.”

Interested in becoming more sex positive? Try the following tips:

Accept all - One common misconception about sex positivism is that all sex positive people are kinky or have alternative sexual lifestyles. Actually, being sex positive means accepting ALL sexual expressions. It means respect and acceptance for those who choose to be celibate, asexual, conservative, or abstinent. It’s about accepting all expressions of our sexuality no matter where they fall on the spectrum.

Don’t judge others who express their sexuality differently than you do. - A woman who enjoys sex and has no shame about expressing her sexuality is not a slut. Don’t judge others who express their sexuality differently. Accept this as someone else’s personal preference. It’s perfectly okay if your preference is very different from theirs. Instead of judging that person, simply accept them as having different preferences than you do.

Listen and stay open - When there is something that you don’t agree with or understand, remember to keep an open mind. You don’t have to like what others do, but if it isn’t hurting you, then you shouldn’t let it bother you either. Listen to what others tell you. We can learn so much just by listening to another person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree, but you can still respect their right to another point of view.

Be a sex positive parent - A sex positive parent is one who gives their child access to accurate and age appropriate information about sexuality. They have a trusting and open relationship with their children in regards to communication about sex, so the child can feel comfortable talking with their parents about questions and concerns. Their children understand consent and boundaries. These children are empowered with the information they have about sexuality.

When confronted with a non-sex positive person, take the opportunity to educate, not judge - Confronting an opposing opinion when it comes to sex positivism can be frustrating and downright infuriating in some cases. Take the higher ground. Practice acceptance by telling them they have a right to their own opinion, and share your view in order to open the door to healthy debate. Change doesn’t occur when people choose sides, get angry and refuse to communicate about an issue.